So, if anyone knows me I AM TERRIBLE WITH GOOD-BYES!! I hate them and I usually cry more than is needed or wanted. I have realized that things are always going to change and I need to be OK with that. I am not. I find my comfort in routines. Like my friends, the way I dress, what kind of music I listen to. I need to step out of my comfort zone and see it is not all about me.
Instead of being so excited for Lauren Ross and all the other people who are going to be leaving me, I was praying they would stay. UMM SELFISH! I hated to think of someone who I cherish leave me. It all roots back to two things, not trusting the Lord's plan and fear of being alone. I know that the Lord gives and takes away and the truth is I trust that Lauren and all the other people will be in my life. I also trust that things will change and possibly for the better with our friendships.
Coming home I did not know what to expect, sin is everywhere in the forsaken town. But, like last time, home has been rewarding. It has been a time of rest and I definantely needed rest. Getting my wisdom teeth out gave me many chances to take time for myself (seeing as how I could not do much because I did not want to get dry socket) and think. I got to think about many things like why I get so irritable so easily, and I really do. I get so upset for things that are not going to matter longer than 20 minutes. I realized that getting upset is how I handle things when situations get emotional. Imagine that. Being this way does not give me room for patience. I take things upon myself and try to fix them. It goes back to not trusting God. I have not trusted that his timing is perfect. So, I do and do and when nothing comes of it, I get irritated. Like looking for a place to live...we have looked at some.. let's say.. interesting boxes haha. The Lord is coming through, as He promises. And guess what, I have not done anything but pray because he is that faithful.
During my recovery of the teeth issue, I have been able to let the Lord take control in other ways besides finding a house to live in. He has placed it on many people's hearts to support me for this summer at the LP. They have been faithful in doing as the Lord has asked. I am almost at full support. The Lord is good...I just have to know and fully grasp he is soverign. And to the people who are leaving I need to pray that they fully grasp that as well. The real world is harder than we expect so I have been told. In all of this we should remember to REP THE J-MAN!!! :)
